31st of December - Morning

Oh holy Priest-Kings! I've learned this night, that dreams can get very real on Arad. It seems to be a magic place. Maybe I was so concerned about the upcoming collaring and opening, that I had a very vivid dream of Master Matteus opening me. I really felt the pain as he thrusted hard and deep into me, my face burried in the sheets I tried to bear the pain, but I must have screamed in my sleep. He commanded me to beg for more, what I did in spite of all the pain... but kind of pleasure the same time. It confuses me. As I woke up this morning, the sheets were all wet, and it wasn't only sweat! and somehow my zjadfa hurts although it was just a dream. But as I said - dreams can be very vivid on Arad...